Bust the Bubble....The Big Move

A few months ago I posted about stepping out of my safety zone. As drastic as that can be, for me it is a necessary shift in my world. I have taught myself to live in this small bubble. A bubble that does not encompass half the worldly experience I have. I am the product of a Transition Manager. By the time I was 12 I had seen 30 out of the 50 states and 11 countries. My father's job carried him all over the world so we followed whenever we could. Yet here I am, afraid to leave my small protective bubble.

"POP!!!"

....I busted the bubble....

I have been accepted to College. I am once again moving on. Moving up, out, and Forward. In less than three months this blog will be coming from a new venue, with a new lease on life. I am proud of myself. I am terrified. I am all around ready to live life again. As of tomorrow I will have a class schedule, paid my dues, and be completely official.

I will no longer be in a odd sort of limbo, with people walking on eggshells around me like I am Broken Shards of Glass. I will stand strong and walk with confidence. I will shout from the rooftops all the things my safety zone would never let me say. I will no longer have anything to hide. And Have no one to hide from. Maybe just maybe I will gain some confidence in other areas of my life too. ;) Hey, you never know what change can bring, so baby bring it on!

Do you want to know what I find most intriguing about this endeavor? IF I had stayed in college the first time, I would have graduated this past weekend. Along with all of the people I went to High School with. Yet here I am basically starting over. Well I never did follow the crowd.

until the fates let us,

Ali

Type of Girl

I often wonder what type of girl I am.

I always feel the need to speak my mind, but often quiet myself for fear of offending others. My opinions don't match those of the status quo. I am Feministic, Brutal, and Ungodly. I am very Passionate on any subject I feel kindred to. I will defend my side to the apocalypse.

My opinions on highly sexual women is quite odd. Unlike most who think they are loose, whores, sluts, and the like....I am just Jealous. Jealous of the fact that they have no fear of their sexual personality. Jealous of their ability to be who they are. Jealous of the fact that I am not. I fear rejection and embarrassment too much to let myself be free enough to hit on someone, and be willing to have sex that easily. It is an odd bout of low self esteem.

I do think highly of myself though. I catch myself looking down on others in my thoughts that don't use proper English. I DO NOT mean use slang words when speaking, I mean flat out need to pull out a translator to understand what they are saying, type people. I have no idea how they expect to get a higher paying job when they speak incomplete sentences. I have issues with baggy clothes that make you look unkempt. Be it pajamas in public or jeans down to your ankles I really have no desire to see them. They are fashion faux pas in my book.

I have found that I would rather sit at home and read a book than deal with the real world. This is a habit of mine from childhood. My punishment when little was not the disbarring of the television or friends but being banned from my bookshelves. It was agonizing. I love to lose myself in a world unlike my own, where I can Sail the Seven Seas with Rudyard Kipling, or deal with the supernatural with Charlaine Harris. I love it so much I want to create realms for others to enjoy someday.

I discover I want to dress up. I like pretty things, High Heels and Dresses, Make-up and Jewelery. I feel pretty. Then about halfway through the night I am ready and willing to beat the shit out of somebody for some unknown reason. I still feel pretty, but I am a bitch through and through. I will not take anything lying down. I may look like a Princess but I throw a mean left hook. My brother taught me well.

I don't particularly believe in any religion. I believe in the concept of God, yes. BUT I am more holistic and drawn to Nature than Christianity allows. I hold a lot of Wiccan values to be true. I find some smaller aspects of Buddhism and Hinduism amazing as well, I enjoy Yoga and its meditative purposes. There is actually a label for people who think the way I do on religion. I am not quite sure I like it, Christopagan. Being a Christian while holding Paganistic values. Look it up. It is real.

I often wonder what type of girl I am. Then I remember, I am not a mere girl anymore. I am a Woman. I am a Feminist, Gutsy, Brutally outspoken, Sexually Jealous, Bookworm, Bitch of a Christopagan Princess. But I am not one to put a label on things...

Until the Fates let us,

Ali

Who am I in 1200 words...

As much as I like blogging, I am always annoyed at the small amount of space I am given to describe myself. I can do it don't get me wrong but I always have to over think what I want or need to say. I actually have a great description of me. I have two actually one can be found on my myspace and the other is a writing exercise I did at some point. I am giving you my exercise to read, I love my description of who I am.



Hi! Welcome to my little world! Believe me this is a new world. So here’s some things you might like to know about me. I am a singer. Now I can't promise that I will fit your standards but I enjoy it. I am a writer of poetry. I aspire to be the next Alfred Lord Tennyson/Nora Roberts(if that could even exist in the world). And a dancer when I have the time. Any kind of dancing suits me. Be it Ballroom, Clubbing, or just free lance for me. I am a dreamer. So sue me, someone has to do it.


I have a very out going personality and quite often speak my mind. I am a negative person I always expect the worst. But I feel it is better to be prepared then to be shocked when the worst does happen and when it doesn't? Well that is just a silver lining then isn’t it? I find I often care far too much or far too less for it to matter.


I am loud and extremely happy. I am a little quirky I am confusing and shy...I am a romantic. I dress to fit me not you. Therefore don’t expect me to always fit in. I can promise I won’t. I will hurt you if you hurt my friends. I learned how to hold my own in a fight years ago and have kept that knowledge under my belt.



I believe in faith and magic. I believe everyone has the option of inner peace, you just have to take the initiative to find it. I live by three rules peace, love and hope. Keep peace of mind in the hardest times for that will bring you through anything. Remember that someone out there loves you, even if you haven’t met them yet. And no matter what there is always hope for the future, Always.



I will always find a way to get what I want. I am a terrific kisser just try me :) My favorite color is blue but purple comes as a close second. I wish I could speak Italian. I believe in Classic Romance. I am obsessed with faeries and butterflies. I like to draw, even though I suck at it. I like to design my own clothes but cannot sew. I happen to have sketches everywhere. I enjoy a good argument, be it about politics, beliefs or general topics. I am Cinderella. What? Every girl is a Princess. I love old movies. I love Audrey Hepburn and Alfred Hitchcock. I am a English Major with a music minor. I am who I am. If you can’t handle that then stop reading.


Ok so that is a little crazy, but it gets it all out there. I try to be perfect and I do all I can. I work and I go to college. I have desperate needs for shopping. I am in love with three things music, art and books. I sing and I play piano and guitar. I have had years of private voice lessons. I also am a ballet dancer. My obsessions are shoes, earrings, and perfumes.


until the fates let us,
Ali